How can you support a friend with anxiety?

Explains how teenagers can support a friend with anxiety through listening, understanding, and encouraging healthy coping strategies while recognising when to seek additional help from trusted adults or professionals.

About this article...

  • Suitable for members aged 12-17
  • 6 minute read
  • 1,132 words (2.8 sides of A4)
  • Providing help and guidance on Understanding anxiety and Mental Health
  • Created and reviewed by our team of experts

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Supporting a friend with anxiety can make a huge difference in their life. As a teenager, it's not always easy to know how to help, especially if you're unsure of what anxiety feels like or how it affects someone. By understanding anxiety and learning practical ways to support your friend, you can provide the reassurance and help they need. This article explains what anxiety is, its impact on young people, and how you can be a supportive friend.

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, fear, or unease. It's a natural response to stress, but for some people, it becomes overwhelming and hard to manage. Anxiety can affect how someone thinks, feels, and behaves, and it often comes with physical symptoms like headaches or a racing heart.

Common Signs of Anxiety

It's not always obvious when someone is struggling with anxiety, but here are some signs to look out for: How can you support a friend with anxiety?
  • Frequent worrying or overthinking
  • Avoiding certain situations, people, or activities
  • Physical symptoms like stomach aches, headaches, or sweating
  • Difficulty concentrating or feeling restless
  • Withdrawing from friends or social events
If your friend shows these signs, they might be experiencing anxiety and could benefit from your support.

Real-Life Impact of Anxiety on Teenagers

Anxiety can affect every aspect of a young person's life, from school to relationships. Here are some examples:

1. School Pressure

Ella, 15, feels anxious about her grades and struggles to focus in class. She's constantly worried about failing, which makes studying even harder.

2. Social Anxiety

Ryan, 16, avoids hanging out with friends because he's scared of being judged. This has made him feel isolated and lonely.

3. Physical Health

Emily, 14, often gets headaches and stomach aches because of her anxiety. These physical symptoms make her feel even more stressed.

How to Support a Friend with Anxiety

If your friend is struggling with anxiety, your support can make a big difference. Here are practical ways to help:

1. Listen Without Judging

One of the most important things you can do is simply listen. Let your friend talk about their feelings without interrupting or trying to "fix" things. Show empathy by saying things like:
  • "I'm here for you."
  • "That sounds really tough."
  • "It's okay to feel this way."

2. Learn About Anxiety

Understanding what anxiety is and how it affects people can help you be a better support. You don't need to be an expert, but knowing the basics will make it easier to relate to your friend and offer meaningful help.

3. Be Patient

Anxiety doesn't go away overnight. Your friend might need time to feel comfortable opening up or trying new coping strategies. Avoid saying things like "Just relax" or "Don't worry so much," as this can make them feel misunderstood.

4. Encourage Them to Seek Help

If your friend's anxiety is severe, suggest that they talk to someone they trust, like a parent, teacher, or school counsellor. You could say:
  • "Have you thought about speaking to a counsellor? They can help you work through this."
  • "I can come with you if you want to talk to a teacher about how you're feeling."

5. Help Them Feel Safe

Sometimes, just being there can help your friend feel less alone. Whether it's sitting with them during lunch or walking to class together, small acts of kindness can make a big difference.

6. Avoid Pressure

Don't force your friend to face their fears if they're not ready. For example, if they're anxious about social events, don't pressure them to go to a party. Instead, offer alternatives like hanging out in a quieter setting.

7. Encourage Healthy Habits

Support your friend in taking care of themselves by suggesting activities that promote well-being, such as:
  • Going for a walk or exercising together
  • Practising deep breathing or mindfulness exercises
  • Getting enough sleep and eating balanced meals

8. Celebrate Small Wins

Managing anxiety takes time, so celebrate your friend's progress, no matter how small. For example, if they attend a social event they were nervous about, let them know you're proud of them.

What Not to Do

While it's important to be supportive, there are some things to avoid when helping a friend with anxiety:
  • Don't Dismiss Their Feelings: Saying things like "It's all in your head" or "You're overreacting" can make them feel invalidated.
  • Don't Take Over: Avoid trying to solve all their problems for them. Instead, empower them to take steps towards managing their anxiety.
  • Don't Judge: Everyone copes with anxiety differently, so be understanding and non-judgmental.

When to Seek Extra Help

If your friend's anxiety is affecting their daily life or they seem overwhelmed, it's important to involve a trusted adult. Signs they might need professional help include:
  • Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities
  • Frequent panic attacks
  • Difficulty concentrating or sleeping
  • Physical symptoms like chest pain or shortness of breath
Encourage them to talk to a GP or therapist, who can provide personalised support and treatment options.

How Supporting a Friend Can Help You

Helping a friend with anxiety can strengthen your friendship and teach you valuable skills like empathy and patience. However, it's also important to take care of yourself. Supporting someone with anxiety can be emotionally draining, so make sure you have your own support system and take breaks when needed.

Final Thoughts

Supporting a friend with anxiety is about being there for them, listening without judgment, and encouraging healthy coping strategies. Your kindness and understanding can make a real difference in their life. Remember, you don't need to have all the answers, just being a supportive presence is enough. If your friend needs extra help, encourage them to seek support from a trusted adult or professional. Together, you can help them feel less alone and more empowered to manage their anxiety.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

  • Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
  • The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
  • Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.