You Can’t Fix Everything But You Can Get Through This

Learn how to manage feelings you can’t fix by understanding control, focusing on responses, and getting the right support.

About this article...

  • Suitable for members aged 12-17
  • 5 minute read
  • 880 words (2.2 sides of A4)
  • Providing help and guidance on Self-Harm & Suicide and Mental Health
  • Created and reviewed by our team of experts

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Life can be tough, can't it? There might be days when everything feels a bit too much, whether it's school stress, issues with friends, or problems at home. It's normal to feel like you want to fix everything so that life feels easier. But the truth is, some things are out of our control, and that's completely okay. You can't fix everything, but you can certainly get through whatever challenges come your way.

Understanding What You Can and Can't Control

It's really important to understand the difference between what you can control and what you can't. Things like your behaviour, your homework, and how you treat other people are in your control. However, other people's actions, natural events, or global issues are things you can't control. Recognising this can make a big difference in how you feel about problems when they arise.

Dealing with Feelings of Helplessness

When something happens that you can't fix, it's normal to feel helpless or frustrated. But these feelings don't have to take over. Instead, focus on finding ways to manage these emotions. Techniques like writing down your feelings, talking to someone you trust, or even distracting yourself with a hobby can help you cope better. Remember, your feelings are valid, but they don't define the whole situation.

Focusing on Your Reactions and Responses

Even if you can't change a situation, you can always choose how you respond to it. For example, if you're getting overwhelmed with schoolwork, it might not be possible to reduce the workload instantly, but you can change how you approach it. Breaking tasks down into smaller, more manageable pieces and organising your time effectively can make a big difference.

Practical Ways to Manage Overwhelming Situations

  1. Stay Organised: Keep a diary or a planner. Writing down your tasks can help you understand and manage your day better.
  2. Ask for Help: Whether it's a teacher, a friend, or a family member, talking about what you're struggling with can provide relief and practical solutions.
  3. Take Breaks: Continuous work without breaks can increase stress. Small breaks help refresh your mind.
  4. Set Small Goals: Achieving small goals can give you a feeling of accomplishment and make bigger tasks feel less daunting.

Coping with Changes You Don't Like

Sometimes changes happen that we don't like or agree with. It could be a friend moving away, a favourite teacher leaving, or changes in your local community. These situations can be tough because they affect your daily life and they're not something you can fix. However, you can cope by looking for the positives or finding new opportunities in these changes. Engaging with new people or finding new hobbies can also help fill any gaps these changes leave.

Seeking Professional Help

If you find it particularly tough to get through things, and they're really affecting how you feel every day, it might be useful to talk to a professional. This could be a pastoral teacher or therapist. They're trained to help people manage their feelings and find strategies to cope with life's challenges. It's completely okay to seek help when you need it.

Resources for Support

You Can't Fix Everything But You Can Get Through This
  • School counsellors or wellbeing officers can offer guidance and support.
  • Helplines and online chats available for young people provide immediate support.
  • Mental health websites and apps can offer tools and information to help you manage stress and anxiety.

Remember, You're Not Alone

Finally, one of the most powerful things to remember is that you are not alone in feeling like you can't fix everything. Everyone, at some point, feels overwhelmed or unsure. Sharing these feelings can not only make you feel better but can also help others open up about their struggles. Together, you can support each other in finding ways through the difficulties.

Summary

In conclusion, while you can't fix every problem in life, you have the strength and tools to get through tough times. Understanding what you can and cannot control, focusing on your responses, and seeking help when needed are all ways to manage challenges effectively. Remember, every problem doesn't need a solution right away. Sometimes, understanding, managing, and talking about the problem is enough to help you get through it.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

  • Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
  • The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
  • Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.