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If you're feeling lost or hurt and you're harming yourself, it can be really tough to open up and ask for help. Self-harm can include things like cutting, burning, or hitting yourself, and sometimes it feels like a way to deal with emotional pain. But, it's important to know that it's okay to ask for help, and there are people who really want to support you.

Understanding Self-Harm

Self-harm often starts as a way to relieve stress or express feelings that seem too hard to put into words. It might feel like a temporary fix, but it doesn't solve the underlying issues. Plus, it can be really dangerous. Remember that hurting yourself isn't a sign of weakness and you're not alone in feeling this way. Many young people go through similar struggles.

Why it's Important to Ask for Help

Asking for help is a brave and necessary step towards feeling better. You don't have to face your problems alone, and getting help can give you the tools you need to find healthier ways to cope with your feelings. When you keep self-harm a secret, it's often a lot scarier. Sharing your pain with someone else can lighten your burden and lead to getting the support and love you deserve.

Choosing Someone to Talk To

Deciding who to talk to is an important step. This person should be someone you trust and feel safe with. It could be:

• A parent or another family member
• A teacher or school counsellor
• A close friend
• A doctor or healthcare professional

It's okay if you're not ready to talk to someone you know personally. There are many helplines and online services where you can talk to someone anonymously.

How to Bring Up the Topic

Talking about self-harm can be really daunting. You might not know where to start or how to bring it up. Here are some tips:

• Choose the right time: Try to find a quiet time when the person isn't busy or stressed, so they can really listen to you.
• Plan what you'll say: Sometimes, writing it down or practicing might help if you're feeling really nervous.
• Be honest: Explain how you feel and why you've been harming yourself. You don't have to share everything at once, but be honest about your feelings.
• Ask for what you need: Let them know how they can help. It might be just listening, helping you find a professional therapist, or supporting you in other ways.

Dealing with Different Reactions

People react differently. Some might be shocked, sad, or even upset. That's because they care about you and don't want to see you hurt. Give them a little time to process what you've told them. Remember, it's new to them, even though you might have been dealing with it for a while. If the first person you talk to doesn't help the way you hoped, don't get discouraged. It's okay to reach out to someone else. The right person will want to support you without judgment.

Professional Help

If you feel you can't talk to someone you know, or if your feelings are very intense, it might be a good idea to see a professional like a therapist or counsellor. They are trained to help people who are feeling like you are, and they can provide confidential support. Professional help can offer new coping strategies that don't involve self-harm and help you address the reasons why you started harming yourself.

Self-Care Strategies

Learning how to take care of yourself can improve how you feel and reduce the urge to harm yourself. Try some of these ideas:

• Keep a diary: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you understand them better and find other ways to cope.
• Exercise: Physical activity can boost your mood and help you manage stress. It doesn't have to be intense; a simple walk can do a lot.
• Find hobbies: Doing something you enjoy can distract you from negative thoughts and provide a positive outlet for your energy.
• Practice relaxation techniques: Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can reduce stress and help you feel calmer.

Most importantly, remember that it's okay to have ups and downs. Healing isn't always a straight path, and it's perfectly normal to have good days and bad days.

Making the First Step

Deciding to ask for help with self-harm is the first step towards recovery. It might feel scary at first, but reaching out means you're moving forward. You deserve support, understanding, and the chance to feel better.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.