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When someone close to us seems different or behaves in ways that worry us, it can leave us feeling unsure about what to do. It's completely normal to feel concerned if a friend or family member is acting differently, especially if these changes are sudden or dramatic. Being aware of what signs to look out for and knowing how to help can make a big difference. Not only can you potentially help someone who's struggling, but understanding these issues can also help you feel less anxious and more prepared.

Recognising the Signs Someone Might Need Help

Sudden Changes in Behaviour: This could be anything from losing interest in hobbies and activities they used to love, to suddenly skipping school or withdrawing from friends and family. A big change in someone's routine or personality is often a red flag that something's not right. Mood Swings: If someone's emotions are all over the place, really happy one minute and terribly sad the next, this might be a clue. Everyone has good and bad days, but extreme changes in mood can be a sign of deeper issues. Changes in Appearance: Neglecting personal hygiene or changing their style dramatically could be another indicator. It might seem like they're not taking care of themselves as they used to. Sleep Issues: Too much or too little sleep can also be a warning sign. A pal who's always saying they're tired, no matter how much they've slept, might be struggling. Eating Habits: Changes in how much or how little someone eats can be concerning, especially if it's a drastic shift from their usual patterns. Withdrawal: Regularly avoiding social interactions and wanting to be alone more frequently can suggest they're not feeling their best.

How Changes Can Affect You

If you're worried about a friend or relative, it can also start affecting your own mental health. You might feel stressed or anxious because of your concern for them. You could even feel frustrated or helpless if you don't think you can help them. It's perfectly normal to have these feelings, and it's important to acknowledge them. Taking care of your own mental health is crucial, especially when you're worried about someone else. It's a bit like the safety instructions on an airplane - you have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else with theirs.

Practical Strategies to Help Someone You're Worried About

Want to help out but not sure how? Here are some steps you can take:

• Start a Conversation: Pick a good time and place to chat where they feel comfortable and safe. It's important to listen without making judgements. Let them know you care and that you've noticed they're not quite themselves.
• Encourage them to Seek Professional Help: Sometimes the best way to help someone is by encouraging them to talk to someone like a counsellor or doctor. You could even offer to help them book an appointment or go with them if they're nervous.
• Stay Connected: Continue to invite them out and include them in plans. Even if they often say no, just knowing the invitation is there can make a big difference.
• Look After Yourself: You can't pour from an empty cup. Make sure you're taking care of your mental and physical health. Staying strong and well will make you a better supporter.
• Education: Learning more about mental health can help you understand what your friend or relative is going through and how best to support them.

What if They Don't Want Help?

It can be really challenging if the person you are worried about doesn't recognise they need help or refuses it. Often, the idea of getting help can be daunting to them. Here's what you can do:

• Be Patient: People must arrive at the decision to seek help in their own time. Being patient and non-judgemental is key.
• Keep the Lines of Communication Open: Even if they're not ready to talk about it or seek help, just checking in and letting them know you are there can be more beneficial than pushing them.
• Inform Someone: If your concern is serious and you believe they might be in danger or a threat to themselves, it's important to tell an adult you trust.

Summary

Watching someone you care about going through a tough time is never easy, but knowing what to look out for and how to offer support can make a big difference. Remember, supporting someone else should not come at the cost of your own health. It's important to find a balance that allows you to care for them while taking care of yourself too. From chatting and offering emotional support to encouraging them to see a professional and continuing to include them in activities, there are many ways you can help while keeping yourself healthy. Remember, it's okay if they're not ready to take your advice right away or if they're hesitant to get professional help. What's most important is that you stay supportive and patient.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.