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When people talk about self-harm, it's often misunderstood as a bid for attention. But that's far from the truth. Self-harm is usually a sign that someone is struggling and doesn't know how to cope with their feelings. It's serious and deserves understanding, not judgements.

What Exactly is Self-Harm?

Self-harm includes any action where someone intentionally injures themselves. Often, it's a physical thing, like cutting or burning the skin, but can also include less noticeable methods like over-exercising or starving yourself. People who self-harm are usually trying to deal with overwhelming emotions or stress.

Why Do Some Teens Self-Harm?

There are different reasons why teens might start to self-harm. Often, it's linked to emotions that feel too difficult to manage. For some, it's a way to express something that's hard to put into words, turn invisible pain into visible, or regain control over feelings or situations that seem out of control. Importantly, it's not a weakness or a flaw, and it's certainly not about seeking attention.

How It Might Affect You

If you're harming yourself, you might feel ashamed, lonely, or scared. It can be hard to talk about these feelings or ask for help. You might worry what other people will think or that they won't understand. its really tough, but reaching out for help is crucial.

For friends of someone who's self-harming, it can be confusing, shocking, and worrying. You might feel unsure about what to do to help them. Here's what's important: empathy, patience, and support can make a big difference.

Strategies to Find Help and Start Healing

Understanding and dealing with self-harm isn't straightforward, but there are steps you can take to move toward recovery and help others do the same:

For Yourself

1. Talk to Someone: When you're ready, find a trusted adult it could be a teacher, parent, coach, or counsellor and express what you're going through. Just sharing your feelings can be a big relief.
2. Seek Professional Help: A GP or therapist can offer support including therapies that help you understand your emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
3. Find Healthy Outlets: Try out other ways to express your feelings like art, music, writing, or sport. These activities can help process emotions in a safer way.
4. Develop a Self-Care Routine: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep are all important. They can improve your mood and help you handle stress better.

For Supporting a Friend

1. Listen Without Judgement: If a friend confides in you, avoid jumping to conclusions or offering simple solutions. Just being there and listening is powerful.
2. Encourage Them to Get Help: You can support your friend, but professional help is often crucial. Encourage them to talk to an adult they trust or see a mental health professional.
3. Stay Informed: While you should respect your friend's privacy, understanding more about self-harm can help you support them better. Knowing about the underlying issues and treatments can make a huge difference.
4. Take Care of Yourself: Helping a friend who's in distress can be overwhelming. Make sure you're looking after your own emotional well-being as well.

Remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed by helping someone with these issues. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings, don't hesitate to reach out for support too.

Long-term Recovery

Recovery from self-harm is possible, but it might take time and resilience. Some days will be harder than others. It's important to keep moving forward, even if you or a friend stumbles occasionally.

Building a support network, finding constructive ways to express feelings, and learning to deal with stress healthily are all important steps on this journey. And remember, relapses, or slips along the way, don't mean failure. They're just part of the process of getting better.

Final Thoughts

It's critical to recognise that self-harm is a complex issue, and the motivations behind it vary deeply from one person to another. If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, reaching out for help is a smart and important step. You're not alone in this, and there are lots of people who can and want to support you through it.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.