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It's not always easy to say "I'm not OK". Sometimes, it feels a bit scary to admit that things aren't going well, especially if you're worried about what others might think. But talking about your feelings is very important, and it's a brave thing to do.

Why It's Hard to Say "I'm Not OK"

Many of us are taught to keep a stiff upper lip and not to burden others with our problems. You might think you have to handle everything on your own or worry that you'll be seen as weak if you admit you're struggling. There's also the fear of being treated differently or not being understood. However, expressing when you're not feeling okay is a crucial step to getting the help or support you need.

Why You Should Tell Someone

Telling someone you trust about your feelings can make a big difference. It can:

• Reduce your stress: Keeping things inside can make you feel more stressed. Sharing your struggles can relieve some of that burden.
• Help you understand your emotions: Talking about your feelings helps you to understand them better. Sometimes, just putting it into words can make a big difference.
• Build closer relationships: When you're honest about how you're feeling, it can help strengthen your bonds with others. They're likely to open up to you in return.
• Get the help you need: By saying you're not OK, you open the door to get help, whether that's advice, support, or professional help.

Choosing the Right Person to Talk To

Deciding who to talk to is an important step. You need someone trustworthy and empathetic, who will listen without judging. This could be:

• A family member like a parent or an older sibling
• A teacher or school counsellor
• A close friend who understands you
• A coach or mentor
• A healthcare professional, like a doctor or therapist

It's important to choose someone who has been supportive in the past or who has shown they care about your well-being.

How to Start the Conversation

Starting the conversation is often the hardest part. Here's how you can do it:

1. Choose the right time: Find a time when the person you want to talk to isn't busy or distracted. Make sure you have enough time to discuss your feelings without rushing.
2. Find a private place: It's easier to open up in a quiet and private setting where you feel safe and won't be interrupted.
3. Be direct: It's okay to be straightforward and say, "I need to talk because I've been feeling really down," or "I'm not feeling okay and I'm not sure what to do."
4. Use "I" statements: This helps in expressing how you feel without sounding like you are trying to blame anyone. For example, you could say, "I've been feeling really overwhelmed with schoolwork and it's been hard to cope."
5. Be ready for different reactions: Prepare yourself emotionally for different types of reactions. The person might be surprised, concerned, or might not know what to say at first. Give them a moment to process what you've said.

What to Do If You're Not Ready to Talk

If you're not ready to talk to someone face-to-face, there are other ways you can express how you're feeling:

• Write it down: Sometimes writing your thoughts in a diary or as a letter can help. You don't need to show it to anyone if you don't want to.
• Talk anonymously: There are many helplines and online services where you can talk to someone anonymously. This might feel less daunting.
• Start small: If talking about everything at once feels overwhelming, start with something small. You can share more as you become more comfortable.
• Express yourself creatively: Use arts like drawing, painting, or writing poems or songs to express your feelings. This can be a powerful way to let out what you're feeling inside.

Remember, it's OK Not to Be OK

Remember, everyone struggles at times and feeling like you're not OK is nothing to be ashamed of. It's a human experience. By sharing what you're going through, you're taking a big step towards feeling better. You're not alone, and there are people who care about you and will want to support you. Being honest about how you feel is a part of taking care of your mental health and overall well-being. If you're finding it hard to cope, reaching out to talk to someone can be a really positive step. You don't have to go through this alone. It might seem tough at first, but it could be the first step to getting back to feeling OK.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.