Let's get started...

When most people think of eating disorders, they often picture a teenage girl struggling with her self-image. This stereotype has become so common that it can be easy to overlook the fact that boys can develop eating disorders too. In reality, eating disorders do not discriminate. They can affect anyone regardless of age, background, or gender. For boys, however, recognising and speaking up about their struggles can be especially difficult due to stigma, misunderstanding, and lack of representation. In this article, we will explore the truth about eating disorders in boys and provide practical strategies to support anyone going through a similar situation.

Understanding Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are mental health conditions that involve a disordered relationship with food, body image, and weight. While they often begin during the teenage years, they can affect people of all ages. The most well-known eating disorders include:

• Anorexia nervosa: An intense fear of gaining weight, leading to restriction of food intake and extreme weight loss.
• Bulimia nervosa: Repeated episodes of binge eating followed by behaviours like vomiting, excessive exercise, or use of laxatives to prevent weight gain.
• Binge Eating Disorder (BED): Frequently eating large amounts of food in a short time, often accompanied by guilt, shame, or distress.
• ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder): Avoiding food due to it's texture, smell, or appearance, without concern about body image. Common in boys and younger teens.

Although the signs of these disorders may vary, they are all serious conditions that can lead to both physical and mental health issues if left untreated. It's important to remember that eating disorders are not a choice. They are complex illnesses influenced by genetics, mental health, environment, and social pressures.

Why Boys Are Overlooked

In the UK, it's estimated that around 25% of people with eating disorders are male, but the real number could be much higher due to under reporting. Boys and young men are often left out of conversations around eating disorders because of harmful myths and assumptions. These include:

• Eating disorders are a girls issue. This belief is outdated and harmful. It discourages boys from recognising symptoms or seeking help.
• Boys don't care about body image. In fact, many boys feel pressure to look a certain way often aiming for a lean, muscular body, which can lead to unhealthy habits.
• If he's not underweight, he must be fine. Many eating disorders don't result in visible weight loss. Mental and emotional signs are just as important.

These misconceptions can stop boys from being diagnosed, receiving support, or even admitting to themselves that they're struggling. As a result, many suffer in silence for far too long.

Teen Impact: Ben's Story

Ben, 15, lives in Birmingham and used to love playing rugby. But during lockdown, he started spending more time on social media. "Every time I went on Instagram or TikTok, I would see these shredded lads doing workouts", Ben recalls. "At first, I found it inspiring. But then I started comparing myself and thinking I wasn't good enough".

Ben began skipping meals, obsessively checking his body in the mirror, and doing push-ups in his room until late at night. Eventually, he stopped eating breakfast and lunch altogether. "I told people I wasn't hungry. I didn't want them to worry", he says. "But inside, I was miserable. I constantly thought about food, but I was terrified of gaining weight".

Ben's parents became concerned when he fainted during PE. After a visit to the GP and a referral to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), Ben was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. "At first, I didn't believe it. I thought only girls got that. I felt ashamed".

With the support of his family, therapist, and a local eating disorder support group, Ben is now on a path to recovery. "It's not about just eating more. It's about dealing with what's going on in your head. Talking to someone saved me".

Signs to Look Out For

Recognising an eating disorder early can make a big difference. Whether it's happening to you or someone you care about, here are some warning signs to watch for in boys:

• Rapid weight loss or noticeable weight gain
• Obsession with food, calories, or body shape
• Skipping meals or making excuses not to eat
• Over-exercising or exercising in secret
• Changes in mood becoming withdrawn, anxious, or irritable
• Physical symptoms like tiredness, dizziness, or feeling cold all the time
• Frequent mirror checking or wearing baggy clothes to hide the body

It's important to remember that someone doesn't need to have every symptom to be struggling. If you're worried, trust your instincts and take it seriously.

How to Ask for Help

Talking about an eating disorder can feel scary, especially if you don't know how people will react. But you are not alone, and there is no shame in needing help. Here's how to start:

1. Talk to Someone You Trust

This could be a parent, older sibling, teacher, school counsellor, or friend. You don't need to have the perfect words just saying "I am not okay" or "I think I have a problem with food" is enough to begin.

2. See Your GP

Your GP can assess what's going on and help refer you to specialists. You have the right to be taken seriously and treated with respect, regardless of your age or gender.

3. Contact a Support Service

• BEAT Eating Disorders: Offers free helplines, web chat, and resources specifically for young people, including boys.
• Childline (0800 1111): A free, confidential line for anyone under 19, available 24/7.

4. Don't Wait Until It's Bad Enough

You don't need to be dangerously underweight or in crisis to get support. Early help can prevent things from getting worse.

How to Support a Friend

If someone you know seems to be struggling, your support can mean the world. Here's how to help:

• Start a gentle conversation: Choose a quiet moment and say what you've noticed. For example, "I've seen you haven't been eating much lately are you okay?"
• Listen without judgment: Let them talk and don't interrupt or try to fix things right away.
• Encourage them to seek help: Offer to go with them to a teacher, parent, or GP if they're nervous.
• Don't make comments about weight or food: Even well-meaning jokes or compliments can be triggering.

Steps Towards Recovery

Recovering from an eating disorder is not quick or easy, but it is absolutely possible. Here are some tips to support the journey:

• Set small goals: Focus on progress, not perfection. Each meal or conversation is a step forward.
• Challenge negative thoughts: Try asking yourself if you'd say those thoughts to a friend. If not, why say them to yourself?
• Stay connected: Isolation makes things worse. Keep in touch with friends and do things that bring you joy.
• Build a team: Recovery is easier with a support network of friends, family, professionals, and peers.
• Be kind to yourself: Eating disorders are not your fault. You deserve help and healing, just like anyone else.

Changing the Conversation

It's time to break the silence and change how we talk about eating disorders. Boys need to know they're not weak or weird for struggling. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and asking for help is one of the strongest things anyone can do.

By speaking out, learning more, and supporting one another, we can create a world where no boy feels ashamed or invisible for something as real and painful as an eating disorder. If you're reading this and something feels familiar reach out. Things can and do get better.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.