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Oral sex means using the mouth, lips, or tongue to stimulate a partner's genitals. It's a type of sexual activity that involves different actions for both boys and girls. Although it's often seen as less risky compared to other sexual activities in terms of pregnancy, oral sex still carries risks and requires a lot of responsibility, especially concerning sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

It's important to teach teenagers about oral sex because it's not usually covered as much as other types of sex in sex education classes. This lack of detailed education can cause misunderstandings about what it involves, the risks, and how to do it safely and responsibly.

Background Information

Many teenagers find out about oral sex through the media or by talking to friends. However, the information they get this way might not be correct or complete, which is why proper education is so important. Oral sex is part of a wider range of sexual activities that also include sex, each with different risks of STIs and other problems if not done safely.

An important thing to consider when talking about oral sex and teenagers is consent. Consent must be clearly and happily given by everyone involved before starting any sexual activity, including oral sex. This makes sure everyone is happy and willing to take part, which is key for a positive and respectful experience.

Implications for Teenagers

For teenagers, understanding oral sex is not just about biology. It's about knowing the emotions, psychology, and social situations linked to these actions. Sometimes, peer pressure can make teenagers do things they aren't comfortable with or ready for.

The media and pornography can also change how teens think about sex, including oral sex, creating unrealistic expectations and ideas that don't consider consent or respect for each other's limits and likes.

Moreover, the risks of STIs, like herpes, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, and human papillomavirus (HPV), should be clearly known. Many of these infections don't show symptoms and can go unnoticed while being passed on to others. It's a common wrong belief that oral sex is "safe" and doesn't need the same precautions as other types of sexual intercourse.

Practical Strategies for Teens

Educating Yourself and Others

• Be responsible for learning about sex. Look for trusted sources that give clear, true, and full information about oral sex and other sexual activities.
• Talk about these topics with your friends to make sure they also know the facts. This can clear up misunderstandings and make it easier to talk about sex openly.

Understanding and Respecting Consent

• Always make sure that everyone involved gives enthusiastic consent. Remember, consent can be taken back at any moment during the activity. It is always OK for anyone to change their mind.
• Communication is important. Always have an open conversation with your partner about what you both want, your limits, and your intentions to ensure you both understand and respect each other.

Protecting Against STIs

• Use protection, even during oral sex. Dental dams for girls and condoms for boys can lower the risk of getting STIs.
• It's important to have regular checks for STIs, especially if you are sexually active. This helps find any infections early so they can be treated.

Handling Peer Pressure

• Remember it's okay to say no. You should never feel forced to do any sexual activity because of peer pressure.
• Being confident in your decisions and actions comes from knowing you are making the right choices for yourself. If you feel pressured or unsure, it's perfectly fine to choose not to take part.

Seeking Guidance

• If you have any questions or worries, talk to a trusted adult. This can be a parent, teacher, or healthcare professional who can provide support and guidance.
• School counsellors and sexual health services are also good places to get information and help.

Dealing with oral sex as a teenager can be complex, with emotional and physical aspects to consider. By being well-informed, practising safe sex, respecting your own and others' boundaries, and seeking reliable advice, teenagers can manage these experiences more safely and responsibly.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.