Let's get started...

Dealing with a breakup can be really tough, no matter how old you are. It's like losing a piece of a puzzle that was once complete. One moment, you're planning fun things with someone special, and the next, you're sitting in your room wondering what went wrong. It's okay to feel upset, confused, or even angry. Let's look into how breakups happen, the whirlwind of emotions they bring, and how you can get through them.

Understanding Breakups

First, it's important to know that breakups happen for many reasons. Sometimes, people grow apart, develop different interests, or simply realise they're better off as friends. It doesn't necessarily mean that someone did anything wrong. Relationships can be a big part of your life, especially when you're sharing a lot of first experiences with someone. But they're also learning experiences. Each relationship can teach us something valuable about ourselves and how we relate to others.

How It Might Feel

After a breakup, you might feel a rollercoaster of emotions. One day you could be feeling sad, the next day angry, and maybe even relieved or happy after that. These feelings are all normal. You might cry, find it hard to sleep, or not feel like eating. Or you might just feel numb and not feel much at all. It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling.

What if You Cry?

Crying is a natural way to express sadness and disappointment, so it's perfectly okay to let those tears out. It's actually healthy to express your feelings rather than keeping them bottled up inside.

What if They Cry?

If the person you've broken up with cries, it shows they're also feeling sad about the end of the relationship. It's important to handle these situations with kindness and respect. Give them space to express their emotions, just as you'd want space for your feelings.

Practical Strategies for Dealing with a Breakup

Here are some ways you can handle a breakup and look after yourself during this challenging time:

1. Talk It Out

When you're ready, talk about your feelings with someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or teacher. It's helpful to get your thoughts and feelings out in the open instead of keeping them inside.

2. Give Yourself Some Space

It might be tempting to keep checking up on your ex on social media, but it's usually a good idea to take a little break from seeing their posts. It could help to unfollow them for a while, just until things feel a bit more normal again.

3. Keep Up with Your Routines

Try to keep doing the things you usually do, like your hobbies, sports, or other activities you enjoy. Keeping busy can help take your mind off the breakup and give you a sense of routine and normality.

4. Allow Yourself to Feel Sad

It's important to acknowledge your emotions and understand that feeling sad, frustrated, or lonely is part of healing. Don't push yourself to get over it quickly; everyone takes their own time to feel better.

5. Focus on Positive Activities

Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself. Whether it's reading a book, drawing, or playing a video game, doing things you love can boost your mood.

6. Write It Down

If talking about your feelings seems too hard, try writing them down. Start a diary or journal where you can express your thoughts and feelings freely. This can be a private space just for you to make sense of everything.

7. Plan Fun Things

Make plans to look forward to, like going to the cinema with friends, or a family outing. Having things to anticipate can help you move forward.

How a Breakup Might Affect Your Life

A breakup can change a lot of things in your life, not just your relationship status. You may share friends with your ex, which can make social situations a bit tricky. School life might also feel different, especially if you and your ex have classes together. It's important to try and keep things as civil as possible. If you're struggling, don't be afraid to reach out to a teacher or counsellor for support.

Sometimes, you may learn things about yourself or realise what you want in a relationship, which can actually be really beneficial for your future relationships. Plus, it gives you a chance to spend time on your hobbies and interests, or discover new ones.

A breakup is never easy, but it's a part of growing up and learning about yourself and others. Remember, it's okay to feel hurt and take time to heal. Surround yourself with people who care about you, keep busy with activities you enjoy, and take things one day at a time.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.