They’re Not Taking It Well, What Can You Do?

$Helping friends in distress goes beyond just being there; it involves active listening, empathy, and sometimes seeking adult intervention. All crucial as you support each other in growing kinder and stronger.$$

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When someone isn't handling a situation well, it can be tough to know what to do or say. Maybe your friend just failed a test they studied really hard for, or they've been left out of a group. Seeing people upset is a challenging part of life, but there are things you can do to help.

Why Understanding Emotions is Important

Empathy is first and foremost about understanding other people's feelings. When you see a classmate or friend upset, your ability to understand what they're feeling can make a big difference. Empathy doesn't fix the problem right away, but it helps others feel supported and less alone. This is crucial because feeling understood can help someone start to deal with their emotions more effectively.

Communication plays a big role too. Sometimes, just asking someone how they're doing after a rough day can mean more than you might think. It shows that you care and you're there to support them.

Delicate Situations Need Delicate Handlings

When you realise someone isn't taking a situation well, the way you approach them is very important. Here are some useful ways to handle these delicate situations:

They're Not Taking It Well, What Can You Do?
  • Be patient. It might take a while for someone to feel better about what's happened. They might not cheer up right away, and that's okay.
  • Listen. Sometimes, people just need to talk about what's bothering them. You don't need to give solutions, just an ear might be enough.
  • Offer gentle suggestions when they seem receptive. Maybe propose going for a walk or watching their favourite film as a way to take a break from the stress.
  • Respect their feelings. Avoid saying things like "It's not a big deal" or "You'll get over it." What seems small to you might be big for them.

Examples of How to Support a Friend

Imagine your friend got a lower mark than expected on a science test. They might feel pretty knocked down, especially if they really put in the effort. Here's how you could possibly help:

  • Listen to them explain how they feel about it and acknowledge that it must be tough.
  • Help them look at what might have gone wrong, like maybe they didn't understand some topics as well as they thought.
  • Encourage them to see this is just one test and doesn't define their whole year.
  • Maybe share a time when you also didn't do as well as you hoped and how you dealt with it.

Developing Your Own Emotional Intelligence

Dealing with other people's emotions also helps build your own emotional intelligence. This means you get better at understanding and managing your own feelings as well as those of others. This is a skill that will help you in school, in future jobs, and in personal relationships.

  • Recognise your emotions: Are you feeling sad, frustrated, or maybe anxious? Naming your feelings is the first step in dealing with them effectively.
  • Stay calm: When you're facing a tough situation, try to keep your cool. Taking deep breaths or counting to ten can help manage your reaction.
  • Be reflective: Think about different situations and how you responded to them. Could you have done something differently? How did your response make others feel?

Struggling with Others' Emotions Online

In this digital age, a lot of our interactions happen online, which comes with its own challenges. Seeing someone upset over social media or dealing with bullying through texts can be distressing. Here are a few tips on handling this:

  • Keep your communication supportive and positive.
  • Encourage your friend to talk about their feelings either in person or over a call, as texts can sometimes make things worse.
  • If they're being bullied, remind them to save the evidence and talk to an adult they trust.

When to Seek More Help

Sometimes, a friend might need more help than you can give. If they continue to feel really down or talk about not wanting to live anymore, it's crucial to talk to an adult you trust. This could be a teacher, a parent, or another family member. It's important for safety and it's okay to reach out for extra help.

Taking Action Today

You can start improving how you handle friends' and your own emotions today. Next time you find someone upset, remember these tips and try your best to be there for them. And don't forget to look after yourself as well. Dealing with emotional situations can be draining, so make sure you take time to relax and do things you enjoy.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

  • Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
  • The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
  • Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.