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Deciding if you should rekindle a friendship with someone isn't straightforward. Maybe you had a disagreement, grew apart, or lost touch for some other reason. If you find yourself pondering whether to be friend's again or not, it's important to think carefully about your decision. Here are some questions and thoughts to help you determine the best course of action.

Why Did You Stop Being Friends?

Before jumping back into a friendship, reflect on why it ended. If you drifted apart due to changing schools or interests, that's quite different from a friendship that ended because of a serious argument or betrayal. Understanding the root cause of the breakup can give you insight into whether it's a good idea to reconnect.

Have Things Changed?

If the friendship ended over a conflict, consider whether the issues that caused the fallout have been resolved or changed. People grow and change, especially during teenage years. It might be that the things that drove you apart before aren't relevant anymore. However, if the same problems are likely to arise, it might not be wise to revive the friendship.

How Did This Friendship Influence You?

Think back to when you were friends. Did you feel good about yourself when you were with this person? Did they support you and make you laugh, or did they often put you down and make you feel bad? Friends should lift each other up. If this friendship made you feel more negative than positive, it might not be worth rekindling.

What Do You Miss About Them?

Identifying what you miss about your friend can help clarify your feelings. Is it their company, the way they understood your thoughts, or just the fun times you had together? Knowing what you value about their friendship can guide you to make a decision. If it's something specific that no one else can offer, reaching out might be worthwhile.

Are You Prepared for Rejection?

It's possible that the other person might not want to restart the friendship. Prepare yourself emotionally for this possibility. Being ready for either response will help you handle the situation more gracefully.

How to Approach Them?

If you decide to reconnect, think about the best way to approach them. A simple message saying hi and asking how they've been can be a good start. Be open and honest about why you're reaching out. Let them know what you've missed about them, but keep the conversation light and friendly. It's not a good idea to dive into past conflicts right away.

Are You Ready to Forgive?

If issues from the past contributed to your friendship ending, consider whether you are ready to forgive them. Forgiveness is a big step and necessary for rebuilding trust and friendship. If you're still feeling hurt, it might be too soon to be friends again.

What If Things Go Wrong Again?

Think about what will happen if the same issues arise. Having a plan can make you feel more secure about rekindling an old friendship. It might be setting boundaries or having an honest conversation about what you both need from the friendship this time around.

Consult Someone You Trust

It can be really helpful to talk to someone you trust about your thoughts on reconnecting with an old friend. They can offer you a different perspective or perhaps point out something you hadn't considered. It could be a parent, a teacher, or another friend.

Listen to Your Gut

Sometimes, despite all the thinking and advice, it's your gut feeling that tells you what to do. If something feels off, it might be worth listening to those instincts. Your intuition can often guide you in the right direction, even if all the details seem to point the other way.

In the end, whether to be friends again with someone is a personal decision that only you can make. Take your time to think about it and consider all angles. Friends are an important part of your life, so rekindling a friendship can be a wonderful experience when done for the right reasons and with the right person.

Remember, making and keeping friends as well as deciding who's right for you is all part of growing up. It's about understanding more about other people, and just as importantly, about yourself.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.