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Growing apart from friends is a normal part of life, although it can feel really confusing and sometimes sad. When you're young, you might notice that someone you used to chat with every day doesn't seem that interested in hanging out with you anymore. This isn't ghosting, where someone suddenly stops all communication without explanation. This is simply growing apart, and it happens for lots of reasons.
Understanding Growing Apart
It's important to understand that growing apart from someone doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or them. its just a part of life. People change, especially during teenage years. You might develop new interests, make different friends, or even change schools. All these changes can affect your friendships.
Think of it like this: when you were younger, you might have made friends based purely on the fact that you were both in the same Primary School or went to the same after school club. But as you get older, your interests, values, and even your personality might grow and change. The friend who used to love exploring the local park with you might now be more interested in music or art. It's not that they like you any less; it's just that their interests have shifted.
How It Might Affect You
When a friend starts to drift away, it can make you feel left out or confused. You might wonder if you did something wrong or if they're upset with you. It's normal to feel a mix of emotions like sadness, anger, or even relief. These feelings are all okay. Understanding that friendships sometimes change can help you cope with these emotions more effectively.
Emotional Impact
Emotionally, you might feel a bit lonely or nostalgic for the times when your friendship was closer. But it's also a chance to learn more about yourself and how you handle changes in relationships.
Social Changes
Socially, you might need to adjust too. If you and your growing apart friend were part of a larger group, you might find the group dynamics changing. Maybe you'll feel the need to strengthen connections with other friends or even make new ones.
Useful Strategies to Handle Growing Apart
Here are some practical tips on how to manage when you and a friend are growing apart:
- Communicate: If you're feeling confused or hurt, it's okay to discuss your feelings with your friend. They might be experiencing similar feelings, or they might reassure you that they still value your friendship, despite being less available.
- Expand your social circle: Try joining clubs, sports teams, or classes where you can meet new people who share your current interests. This can distract you and enrich your social life.
- Focus on self-development: Take this time to discover more about yourself. Engage in hobbies, read new books, or learn new skills. This helps build your self-esteem and independence.
- Be supportive: Just like you're evolving, your friend is too. Try to be supportive of their new interests or friendships. Showing genuine support can sometimes even bring you back together.
- Keep busy: Distract yourself with activities and goals. Whether it's doing well in school, taking up a new sport, or participating in a community event, staying active can prevent you from feeling too sad about the drifting friendship.
- Reflect and Accept: Spend some time reflecting on the changes and accept that growing apart is a natural part of growing up. Don't force a friendship to remain the same if it's naturally changing.
Remember, just because you're growing apart from someone now doesn't mean you won't grow back together later in life. People change and reconnect in different ways as they grow.
In Conclusion
Feeling sad or confused about a friendship changing is completely normal. But remember, growing apart from someone doesn't mean the end of your social life. It's a chance to meet new people, explore new interests, and grow into who you're meant to be. The important thing is to stay open, be kind to yourself and others, and acknowledge that change is a part of life.
The experience of growing apart teaches you a lot about how relationships work. It prepares you for adult relationships where people often come and go based on life phases and changes. Handling it well now sets you up for healthier relationships in the future.
How are you feeling?
It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.
If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:
- Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
- NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
- The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
- SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
- Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)
*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.