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Imagine you're hanging out with your friend, laughing about something funny that happened at school, when suddenly you disagree about something. Maybe it's about what video game is the best, or whose turn it is to go first in a game. Before you know it, what started as a small disagreement turns into an argument. It happens, right? But here's the thing: knowing how to handle these arguments can make sure they don't turn into something that spoils your friendship.

Let's be honest, arguments are a part of life. Whether between friends, siblings, or even your classmate, disagreements are bound to happen. However, the key to maintaining strong friendships isn't about avoiding disagreements but handling them wisely. Here's how you can do just that.

Understanding Why Arguments Happen

First off, it helps to know why arguments break out. Sometimes, you or your friend might be having a bad day or are feeling stressed about something else like schoolwork or family stuff. That can make either of you more sensitive or likely to get easily upset. Other times, an argument might come from misunderstandings or different opinions. Recognising the root cause can be the first step towards fixing the problem without damaging your friendship.

Effective Communication is Key

Your most powerful tool in any argument is the way you communicate. Here are some tips on how to discuss disagreements without turning them into friend-ending fights:

• Stay Calm: Keep your cool. It's easier to solve things when everyone's calm and collected rather than shouting or being upset.
• Listen: Make sure you really listen to what your friend is saying. Sometimes you might be so ready to respond that you don't actually hear their point of view.
• Use "I" Statements: Say things like "I feel ¦" instead of "You always ¦" to express how you feel without accusing your friend of something. This helps in not making them feel defensive.
• Be Clear: Sometimes you just need to be more clear about how you're feeling and why. Explain yourself clearly and calmly.
• Agree to Disagree: It's okay not to agree on everything. Sometimes the best way to end an argument is to just accept that you have different opinions and that's fine.

Remember, the goal isn't to win the argument; it's to understand each other and resolve the disagreement.

Take a Break If Needed

If things are getting too heated, it's okay to take a step back. Saying something like, "Let's talk about this later," can give both of you some time to cool off. Sometimes a little time apart helps you think things through and see the situation more clearly. When you return to the conversation, you might find it easier to talk calmly and listen to each other better.

Apology and Forgiveness

Two of the hardest but most important parts of resolving any argument are apologising and forgiving. If you realise you've made a mistake or said something hurtful, be quick to say sorry. And if your friend apologises, try to forgive them. Holding grudges only makes things worse.

• Be Sincere: When you say sorry, mean it. Apologies should come from the heart.
• Forgive and Let Go: If your friend says sorry and you feel they mean it, try to forgive them and move on. It's the best way to heal the friendship.

Learning from Arguments

Believe it or not, every argument gives you a chance to learn something new about your friend or even yourself. Maybe you learn that you need to be more patient, or perhaps it reveals a topic you both are passionate about but see differently. Treat arguments as opportunities to grow and improve your relationship.

Looking Out for Repeat Problems

If you find you and your friend are always arguing about the same thing, it might be time to really talk about that issue. Find a time when both of you are calm and talk it through. Maybe there's a deeper issue that needs addressing, or perhaps it's a misunderstanding that's never been fully cleared up.

Remember What's Important

In the heat of an argument, it's easy to forget why you became friends in the first place. Try to remember all the good things about your friend and your friendship. This can put the argument into perspective and remind you that your friendship is more important than winning any argument.

Handling arguments properly can help strengthen your friendships instead of weakening them. By communicating effectively, giving each other space, apologising when necessary, and ultimately forgiving and learning from each situation, you both can emerge from disagreements stronger and closer than before.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.