Fighting with Your Best Mate? Here’s a Plan That Works

Learn how to resolve conflicts with your best mate, strengthen your relationship, and handle disagreements positively and effectively.

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It's pretty normal to have a disagreement or even a big row with your best mate sometimes. Even the best of friends can fall out over something small or big, leading to uncomfortable situations and hurt feelings. Understanding how to manage these conflicts is crucial for keeping your friendship strong and healthy.

Why Do Friends Fight?

Fights between friends can be caused by many different reasons. Sometimes, it's over misunderstandings or jealousy, or maybe even changes in your lives, like a new school, interests, or other friends coming into the scene. Knowing the reasons behind the conflict can help a lot in solving it.

How Does It Feel?

When you have a row with your friend, it might make you feel sad, angry, or confused. It's normal to have all these feelings. It can also make school and social gatherings feel awkward, especially if you share the same group of friends.

What You Can Do About It

Here are some steps you can take to fix things with your friend:

Fighting with Your Best Mate? Here's a Plan That Works

Talk It Out

The first step in solving any dispute is to talk about it. It might be difficult, but it's important to share how you both feel. Choose a quiet place and a good time to talk, maybe when you're both calm and not busy with other things.

Listen

It's just as vital to listen as it is to talk. Let your friend share their side of the story without interrupting. It's important to really listen and try to understand where they're coming from.

Apologise If You Need To

If you think you've done something wrong, say sorry. Just a sincere apology can go a long way in repairing a friendship. Remember, it's okay to admit you were wrong.

Give It Time

Sometimes, both of you might need a bit of time to cool off before you can sort things out. It's alright to take a break from the conversation and come back to it later when you're feeling calmer.

Compromise

Sometimes, you both might need to give a little. A compromise means each of you gives up something to reach a solution that works for both. Finding a middle ground can prevent similar fights in the future.

Remember What's Important

Think about why you became friends in the first place. Those reasons probably still exist. Sometimes, reminding yourself what you like about your mate can help you see past the fight.

Moving On From A Fight

Once you've sorted things out, try to move on and don't bring up the fight again. It can be damaging to keep going back to old arguments. Here's how you can move on:

Have Fun Together

Do something you both enjoy. It could be watching a film, playing a favourite video game, or going out for a bike ride. This can help bring back the good vibes between you both.

Be Positive

Focus on the positive aspects of your friendship. Compliment each other and celebrate each other's success. This builds a supportive and happy friendship.

Keep Communicating

Keep the lines of communication open. Everyday chatting about little things can keep your friendship strong. It also means you can talk about any issues before they become big problems.

Learn from the Experience

Every row or disagreement is a chance to learn more about each other and how you can handle situations better. You can both learn what upsets the other and try not to do that in the future.

Disagreements among friends are normal. They can even make your friendship stronger if handled properly. By listening, communicating, and sometimes compromising, you can solve nearly any conflict. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, but it's how you fix them that counts.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

  • Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
  • The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
  • Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.