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Sometimes in life, we find ourselves in situations where we need to step away from a friendship or stop spending time with someone. This might sound a bit harsh at first, but it's a natural part of growing up. You might outgrow certain friendships, find that you have different interests, or simply feel that a relationship is causing more stress than it's worth. Although it's important to look out for your own wellbeing, it's just as crucial to handle these situations respectfully. The goal is to cut ties without burning bridges.

Understanding When It's Time to Move On

Recognising when a relationship has run its course isn't always easy, especially when emotions are involved. Here are a few signs that it might be time to rethink a friendship or relationship:

• Lack of respect: Your friend doesn't respect your opinions or feelings.
• Different paths: You've grown into different interests that result in less common ground.
• Negative impact: Your friend often makes you feel stressed, anxious or unhappy.
• One-sided effort: You find that you're always the one making an effort to meet up or communicate.

It's essential to listen to these feelings rather than ignore them. Feeling uneasy for a prolonged period is often a sign that something needs to change.

How to Part Ways Respectfully

Once you've decided to step back from a relationship, think about the best way to handle it. The key is to be kind but direct. Here are a few steps to consider:

1. Reflect on Your Feelings

Before talking to your friend, take some time to understand why you feel the way you do. This will help you explain your feelings clearly and honestly when the time comes.

2. Choose a Good Time and Place

When you decide to have this conversation, do it at a time and place where you both feel comfortable and there's enough time to discuss things properly.

3. Be Honest and Direct

Use "I" statements to express your feelings, such as "I feel" or "I need". For example, you might say, "I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed and need to take some time for myself to sort things out." This way, you own your feelings without blaming the other person.

4. Listen

After you've shared your feelings, give your friend a chance to talk. They might have their own concerns or feelings that need to be addressed. Listening is a critical part of maintaining respect between both parties.

5. Offer to Remain Friendly

If you'd still like to keep the door open for future interactions (just on a less frequent basis), let them know. You could say, "I still really value our friendship, and I hope we can catch up every now and then."

Handling the Aftermath

Changing a relationship can have emotional repercussions for both parties involved. Here's how to handle the days and weeks following your conversation:

• Give it Time: Both of you might need some time to adjust to the new dynamic of your relationship.
• Stay Busy: Engage in hobbies or activities you enjoy. This helps by not only keeping you occupied but also boosting your mood.
• Reach Out to Other Friends: Spend time with other friends. Diversifying your friend group can help you get the support you need during this transition.

Though initially awkward or painful, these kinds of transitions are often necessary for personal growth. It's a sign that you're paying attention to your needs and boundaries.

How This Affects You

Whether it's a school friend, a gaming buddy, or even a close neighbour, ending or changing a relationship is not easy. Such decisions can leave you questioning your choices and might lead to feelings of loneliness or regret. However, respecting your own emotional needs is crucial to developing healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the future.

Strategies to Stay Positive

If you have recently had to step away from a friend, here are some practical ways to keep a positive outlook:

• Keep a Journal: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to process and understand them better.
• Exercise: Physical activity can boost your mood and distract you from negative thoughts.
• Explore New Interests: Use the extra time to try new activities that may lead to new friendships or fun discoveries about yourself.
• Talk to Someone: Sometimes, talking to an adult or a counsellor about how you're feeling can be very helpful.

As you grow older and meet more people, understand that relationships often evolve over time, and that's completely normal. It's all part of learning who you are and what kinds of friends fit best with your life.

Remember, cutting ties doesn't always mean ending a friendship bitterly; it's about making choices that support your wellbeing and happiness. It's possible to part ways with someone gracefully while still maintaining respect and closure keeping the door open for whatever may come in the future.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.