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Respecting your own boundaries is a major part of growing up. As you're about to step into all sorts of new experiences - from increasing social life and wider academic choices to more complex relationships - knowing about, and feeling comfortable with saying no is key. It's okay not to give your time, trust, or body to other people unless you're completely comfortable. Let's break this down a bit more.

Understanding Your Rights to Your Time, Trust, and Body

First things first, your time, trust, and body are yours and only yours. Whether it's deciding not to hang out with friends because you're not in the mood or choosing not to share personal information, these decisions are entirely up to you. Understandably, there might be pressures. Friends might get upset or others might try to push beyond your comfort zone, but your boundaries should always be respected.

Time: It's Precious

Think about how you choose to spend your day. Between school, hobbies, perhaps a part-time job, and just chilling out, your time is packed. When it comes to your social life, it's perfectly okay to say no to outings or events if you feel overwhelmed or just need some time to yourself. Prioritising your mental health and well-being is not selfish; it's necessary.

Here's something you can do: try making a schedule. List all your activities and see how much free time you actually have. If you notice your week looks too crowded, it might be a good idea to cut back on something. Always ensure you have time to relax and recharge.

Trust: Earning It Is a Must

Trust is another biggie. It shouldn't be rolled out like a red carpet for everyone you meet. It's something that people should earn from you over time, through consistent, respectful behaviour. Whether it's a friend, a new classmate, or even a romantic interest, taking time to observe how they behave in different situations helps you decide if they are trustworthy.

You could start a trust test'. For instance, share small bits of non-sensitive information and see how they handle it. If they respect your privacy and prove to be reliable, you might decide to trust them with more. But if they gossip about it or let you down, you'll know they're not quite ready for your trust.

Body: Owning Your Autonomy

Your body is your personal temple. What you do with it, who you share it with, and how you care for it are choices that should be respected by everyone. Many teens face peer pressure about their bodies, whether it's to look a certain way or engage in romantic activities before they're ready. Always listen to your own feelings and comfort levels first.

How about setting up a "consent practice"? Whenever you are about to engage in activities involving body contact, like a game of football or just a hug, ensure you are okay with it, and don't be afraid to vocalise when you're not comfortable. Being assertive about your physical boundaries protects your well-being and self-esteem.

Why It's OK to Say No

You might worry about hurting someone's feelings or being seen as rude. Here's the thing: respecting yourself should always come first. By establishing your boundaries, you're not only looking after yourself but also setting a good example for how others should treat you and themselves.

It's not necessary to provide long explanations for your decisions. Simple, clear responses like "I'm not comfortable with that" or "I need to focus on other priorities right now" are perfectly acceptable. People who genuinely care about you will understand and respect your needs.

Handling Pressure and Guilt

Pressure can come from friends, classmates, or even from someone older. Remember, just because someone tries to pressure you into something doesn't mean they're right. Stay true to yourself and your feelings. If you feel guilty for setting boundaries, talk to someone you trust like a family member, a teacher or a counsellor. They can offer support and reassurance.

Practical Tips

Here are a few practical tips to help you assert your boundaries:

• Practise saying no: Try rehearsing how you'll say no in different scenarios where you might feel pressured. It can help make the real situation easier.
• Communicate clearly: Be direct about your limits with people. This reduces misunderstandings.
• Surround yourself with supportive people: Stick close to friends who respect your boundaries and encourage you to stick to them too.
• Remember, it's about respect: Anyone who doesn't respect your boundaries is probably not someone you need in your life.

Lastly, learning to set and respect your own boundaries will serve you well throughout your life. It's a skill that might seem challenging now, but with practice, it becomes easier. Always remember: you are the boss of your own time, trust, and body!

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.