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Have you ever heard someone say "I'm walking on eggshells"? It's a phrase often used when someone is trying too hard to avoid saying or doing something that could upset another person. This might be something you've experienced yourself. Maybe you feel this way when you're around certain friends, family members, or maybe a teacher. This feeling can tell you a lot about your relationships and how they're affecting you.

Why Do We Walk on Eggshells?

Walking on eggshells usually happens when you're feeling anxious or scared about someone else's reaction. You might be worried about making them angry, disappointing them, or just stirring up any kind of conflict. In these situations, you're likely trying to keep everything smooth and peaceful, even if it means not being totally honest or hiding your true feelings.

The Impact on You

Constantly walking on eggshells can be really tiring. It's like carrying a heavy backpack all day - it drains your energy and can make you feel sad or stressed. If you find yourself often in this situation, you might start feeling less confident in expressing your thoughts and feelings. You could also start doubting yourself more, wondering if your feelings are valid or worrying that you're overreacting.

What This Means for Relationships

Healthy relationships, whether they're friendships or family connections, should make you feel safe and supported, not on edge and stressed. If you're always walking on eggshells, it often means that the relationship has issues that need addressing. This could be anything from someone being too critical or controlling, to more serious issues like bullying or manipulation.

Recognising the Signs

Here are some signs that you might be walking on eggshells:

• You often worry about how someone will react to what you say or do.
• You're frequently holding back your true thoughts and feelings.
• You feel relieved when you don't have to be around certain people.
• You're always the one making compromises or saying sorry, even when it's not your fault.
• You feel nervous or anxious about interactions with specific people.

If any of these sound familiar, it's essential to take a closer look at your relationships and consider what might be influencing these feelings.

Steps to Stop Walking on Eggshells

So, what can you do if you realise you're always walking on eggshells around someone? Here are some practical steps you can take to improve the situation and how you feel:

1. Reflect on Your Feelings

First, think about why you feel like you need to tread carefully. What specific actions or words from the other person make you feel this way? Understanding this can help you figure out what needs to change.

2. Talk About It

It can be really helpful to talk to someone about how you're feeling. This could be another family member, a close friend, a teacher, or even a counsellor. They can give you advice, help you see the situation more clearly, and support you in making changes.

3. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is about deciding what you are and aren't comfortable with. Let's say a friend often mocks you when you share your opinions. You might say, "I feel hurt when you make fun of my ideas. I need our conversations to be more supportive." Setting boundaries helps others know your limits and helps you feel more respected.

4. Work on Your Confidence

Being able to express yourself confidently makes a big difference. Try activities that boost your self-esteem, like hobbies you're good at, and practice standing up for yourself in smaller, less threatening situations.

5. Know When to Seek More Help

If you've tried addressing the situation but it hasn't helped, or if the environment is very toxic (like in cases of bullying or abuse), it's important to seek help from professionals. Schools and local communities often have resources like counsellors who can provide support and advice.

Walking on eggshells isn't just a quirky phrase it's a sign that something in your relationship dynamics might need attention. By understanding why it happens and knowing ways to address it, you can make sure your relationships are healthy, supportive, and make you feel good about yourself.

Remember, it's okay to seek help and make changes that benefit your emotional and mental well-being. Building strong, supportive relationships is part of growing up and learning about yourself and others.

Lastly, if you're finding yourself often anxious or stressed because of how you need to act around others, take it as a sign that you might need to make some changes. Healthy relationships should make you feel safe, not like you're treading on thin ice.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.