How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship Safely

Learn how to recognise, exit, and recover from toxic relationships with comprehensive guidance and support for improving personal wellbeing.

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Realising you're in a toxic relationship can feel scary. sad, shocking, and you're left wondering what to do next. Here we're going to talk about what a toxic relationship looks like, why it's important to get out, and how you can do so safely.

What Makes a Relationship Toxic?

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel consistently unhappy, drained, or stressed. It's not just having a bad day; it's bad days that turn into bad weeks and months. Here are a few signs that a relationship might be toxic:

How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship Safely

  • Control: Your friend or partner tells you who you can hang out with, what you can wear, or how you should act.
  • Negative Criticism: They often put you down, criticise your ideas, and make you feel bad about yourself.
  • Lack of Support: They're not there for you when you need them or dismiss your problems.
  • Jealousy: They can get overly jealous or possessive.
  • Manipulation: They use tactics to make you do things their way, often making you feel guilty or blaming you for their problems.

Recognising these signs is the first step in dealing with a toxic relationship. It might feel tough, especially if there are good times or if you really care about the person. However, understanding that the bad parts are harmful to your wellbeing is crucial.

Why it's Important to Leave a Toxic Relationship

Sticking around in a toxic relationship can have a serious impact on your mental and physical health. It can make you feel anxious, depressed, and lower your self-esteem. More so, it can stop you from forming healthier relationships with others, doing well in school, or enjoying activities you love.

How to Safely Exit a Toxic Relationship

1. Identify the Relationship as Toxic

Admitting that a relationship is toxic and not good for you is a huge step forward. Sometimes you might feel like you're overreacting, or that things will get better, but if the relationship has constant elements of toxicity, trust your feelings.

2. Plan Your Exit

Leaving a toxic relationship isn't always straightforward, especially if it involves someone you see every day like a classmate or even a family member. Here's how you can plan your exit:

  • Talk to Someone: Confide in someone you trust like a friend, a family member, or a teacher. They can offer support and help you see the situation more clearly.
  • Create a Support System: Ensure you have a group of friends or family members who understand your decision and will help you through the process.
  • Limit Contact: If possible, start to reduce the amount of time you spend with the person. If you can't avoid them completely, try to limit your interactions to necessary communication only.
  • Set Boundaries: Make it clear to the person what you will not tolerate. Be firm if they try to cross those boundaries.

3. Deal with the Emotional Fallout

Even if you know it's the right thing to do, leaving a relationship can be emotionally tough. Here are a few strategies to manage your feelings:

  • Express Yourself: Write in a journal, create art, or play music. Getting your feelings out can be really therapeutic.
  • Stay Active: Physical activity can help reduce stress. It doesn't have to be anything vigorous - even a walk around the park can help clear your mind.
  • Be patient with Yourself: Recovery takes time. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that feeling sad, relieved, or anything in between, is completely normal.

Life After a Toxic Relationship

After you move on from a toxic relationship, it may take time to feel like yourself again. Investing time in activities you enjoy and spending time with people who make you feel good about yourself can help you heal. Remember, it's okay to seek professional help if your feelings are overwhelming or if you can't cope by yourself.

Building Healthier Relationships

As you start to feel better, think about what you've learned from your past experiences. Understanding what you don't want in a relationship helps you figure out what you do want. With time, you'll be better at spotting red flags early and fostering healthier connections with others.

Remember, You're Not Alone

Many people have gone through toxic relationships and have come out stronger on the other side. It's something that you can overcome. With the right support and tactics, you can ensure your wellbeing and find happier, healthier relationships in the future.

While it may sound daunting now, each step you take is a step towards a happier and healthier you. The journey is not always easy, but you need to take control.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

  • Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
  • The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
  • Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.