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When someone close to you dies, the sadness that follows can feel overwhelming. You might wonder why you feel so down or why the pain doesn't seem to go away. If you're dealing with bereavement, it's important to know that feeling sad is a completely normal response to loss. Sadness is a part of grief, and while it can be incredibly hard to cope with, it's also a sign of the love and connection you had with the person you lost.

Why Does Bereavement Make Us So Sad?

Grief is the emotional reaction to losing someone who mattered to you. Sadness is one of the most common feelings during this time, and it happens for several reasons:

• Loss of connection: When someone dies, it feels like a piece of your life is missing, leaving behind a deep sense of emptiness.
• Uncertainty: You might feel sad because you don't know how to move forward without them.
• Unfinished conversations: If there were things left unsaid or unresolved, it can add to your sadness.
• Change in routine: The absence of someone close can disrupt your daily life, making everything feel different.

These feelings can come in waves, and it's normal for the sadness to feel stronger at certain times, like on anniversaries or when you're reminded of the person.

The Real-Life Impact of Sadness on Teenagers

For young people, bereavement can feel especially tough because it often happens during a time of personal change and growth. Sadness can affect your life in many ways, such as:

• Emotional struggles: You might feel tearful, lonely, or like you don't know how to explain your feelings to others.
• Physical effects: Sadness can leave you feeling tired, give you headaches, or make it hard to sleep or eat.
• School challenges: Concentrating in class or keeping up with homework might feel harder when you're sad.
• Social difficulties: Friends might not fully understand what you're going through, making you feel isolated.

These challenges are a normal part of grieving, but there are ways to manage them and start to feel better over time.

Practical Strategies for Dealing with Sadness After a Bereavement

While you can't make the sadness disappear overnight, there are steps you can take to help yourself cope and feel a bit better. Here are some ideas:

1. Let Yourself Feel Sad

It's okay to cry or feel down. Suppressing your emotions can make grief harder to deal with in the long run. Instead, give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions come up, whether it's sadness, anger, or even relief.

2. Talk to Someone You Trust

Sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you can make a big difference. This could be a parent, teacher, friend, or school counsellor. Talking about your sadness helps you process it and feel less alone.

3. Write About Your Feelings

Sometimes, writing can help you express emotions that are difficult to say out loud. Try journaling about your memories, your feelings, or anything else that comes to mind. It doesn't have to make sense, it's just for you.

4. Create a Routine

Grief can make life feel chaotic, but sticking to a routine can help you feel more grounded. Focus on small, manageable tasks like going to school, eating regular meals, or setting aside time for hobbies.

5. Do Things That Bring You Comfort

Finding moments of comfort can help lift your mood, even if only for a short time. This could be watching a favourite TV show, spending time with a pet, or doing something creative like drawing or baking.

6. Honour Their Memory

Creating a way to remember the person you lost can help you feel connected to them. This might include making a photo album, lighting a candle, or doing an activity they loved. Focusing on happy memories can bring comfort during sad times.

7. Spend Time with Supportive People

Being around people who understand and support you is important. This could be close friends, family members, or even joining a support group where you can meet others who have experienced loss.

8. Take Care of Your Body

Grief affects both your mind and body, so looking after your physical health is essential. Try to:

• Eat regular, healthy meals, even if your appetite is low.
• Get enough sleep by creating a calming bedtime routine.
• Do some gentle exercise, like walking, stretching, or playing a sport you enjoy, to boost your mood and release tension.

9. Seek Professional Help

If your sadness feels overwhelming or isn't improving over time, consider talking to a counsellor or therapist. They can help you work through your emotions and give you strategies to cope.

How to Handle Sad Days

Some days will feel harder than others, especially during holidays, anniversaries, or other reminders of the person you lost. Here's how you can manage those days:

• Plan ahead by deciding how you want to spend the day, whether it's doing something special to remember them or keeping things low-key.
• Talk to someone about how you're feeling.
• Be kind to yourself, take the day one step at a time and don't pressure yourself to feel a certain way.

Supporting a Friend Who's Feeling Sad

If you know someone who's dealing with sadness after a bereavement, here are some ways you can support them:

• Listen: Let them talk about their feelings without trying to fix or minimise their sadness.
• Be there: Spend time with them, whether it's hanging out or just sitting quietly together.
• Avoid clichŽs: Instead of saying things like, "They're in a better place," try, "I'm here for you."

Your support can make a big difference in helping them feel less alone.

Final Thoughts

Feeling sad after a bereavement is a natural and important part of grieving. It's a reflection of the love and connection you had with the person you've lost. While the sadness might feel overwhelming at times, there are steps you can take to cope, such as talking to someone, creating a routine, and honouring their memory. Remember, it's okay to ask for help if you need it, and with time and support, you'll find ways to navigate your grief and feel stronger.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.