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When someone you care about passes away, it can feel like an overwhelming loss. One of the ways to cope with grief is by finding meaningful ways to remember and honour them. Remembering someone after a bereavement is not just about keeping their memory alive, it's also a way to process your emotions, celebrate their life, and find comfort in the connection you shared. For young people, this can be an especially powerful way to make sense of a difficult experience.

Why Remembering Someone Matters

After a bereavement, it's natural to feel a deep sense of loss. You might worry about forgetting the person over time or struggle with the idea of moving forward without them. Finding ways to remember them helps to:

• Keep their memory alive: Celebrating their life ensures that their impact on you and others continues.
• Process grief: Engaging in remembrance activities can help you express your emotions and work through your grief.
• Celebrate their legacy: Focusing on their positive qualities and the good times you shared can bring comfort and even joy.

These acts of remembrance can be personal, shared with others, or a mix of both, depending on what feels right for you.

The Real-Life Impact on Young People

For teenagers, losing someone close can feel especially difficult. You're navigating a period of growth and change, so adding grief to the mix can make emotions feel overwhelming. Remembering someone after a bereavement can have both positive and challenging effects:

• Emotional relief: Creating a way to remember them can provide comfort and reduce feelings of guilt or sadness.
• Sense of connection: Remembrance can help you feel closer to the person you lost, even though they're no longer physically present.
• Challenges with peers: Friends who haven't experienced a loss may not fully understand why you want to focus on remembering someone, which could feel isolating.

Despite the challenges, finding ways to remember someone can be a healing part of your grief journey.

Practical Ways to Remember Someone

There's no one-size-fits-all approach to remembering someone after a bereavement. Here are some practical ideas to help you honour their memory:

1. Create a Memory Box

Gather items that remind you of the person, such as photos, letters, or objects that were special to them. Keep these in a memory box that you can look through whenever you want to feel close to them.

2. Write a Letter

Writing a letter to the person who has passed can be a powerful way to express your feelings. You can share your memories, say things you didn't get to say, or simply reflect on what they meant to you.

3. Plant a Tree or Garden

Planting a tree or a small garden in their honour creates a living tribute. Watching it grow over time can be a comforting reminder of their impact on your life.

4. Share Stories

Talking about your favourite memories with family and friends can be a great way to celebrate the person's life. It can also help you feel less alone in your grief.

5. Create Art or Music

If you enjoy being creative, consider making something in their memory. This could be a drawing, painting, poem, or song inspired by the person you've lost.

6. Make a Photo Album or Scrapbook

Collect photos, notes, and other mementos to create a scrapbook or album. Flipping through it can help you relive happy memories and keep their story alive.

7. Participate in Their Favourite Activities

Doing something the person loved, like watching their favourite film, playing their favourite sport, or visiting a place they enjoyed, can be a meaningful way to feel connected to them.

8. Light a Candle

Lighting a candle in their memory during special occasions or anniversaries can be a simple yet powerful way to honour them.

9. Support a Cause They Cared About

If they were passionate about a particular cause, consider volunteering or fundraising in their name. This keeps their values and passions alive while making a positive impact.

10. Create a Tribute Online

Many people create online memorials, such as a social media post, a blog, or a dedicated page where you can share photos, stories, and thoughts about the person.

Balancing Remembrance with Moving Forward

While it's important to remember someone, it's also okay to continue living your life and finding joy. Here are some tips for balancing remembrance with moving forward:

• Be kind to yourself: Grief is a journey, and it's okay to have good days and bad days.
• Set aside time for remembrance: Dedicate specific moments to reflect on their memory while allowing yourself to focus on other things at other times.
• Seek support: If you're struggling to move forward, talk to a trusted adult or counsellor who can help you navigate your emotions.

Supporting a Friend Who's Remembering Someone

If a friend is grieving and trying to remember someone they've lost, here's how you can help:

• Be a good listener: Let them share stories or talk about their feelings without judgement.
• Join in their efforts: If they're creating a memory box or participating in an activity to honour their loved one, offer to join or support them.
• Respect their process: Everyone grieves differently, so be patient and understanding of their way of remembering.

Final Thoughts

Finding ways to remember someone after a bereavement is a deeply personal and meaningful process. Whether it's through creating a memory box, sharing stories, or supporting a cause they cared about, these acts of remembrance can provide comfort and help you navigate your grief. It's okay to take your time and explore what feels right for you. By celebrating their life and the connection you shared, you're ensuring their memory lives on in a positive and healing way.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

• Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
• The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
• SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.