What if you start puberty earlier than your friends?

Learn how to manage the challenges of experiencing puberty earlier than your peers with these practical, supportive strategies.

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Understanding Early Puberty

Puberty is a pivotal stage in life where you transition from childhood into adolescence. It involves a series of physical and emotional changes triggered by hormonal adjustments. While puberty typically begins around the ages of 8 to 13 for girls and 9 to 14 for boys, there's a significant variation in when these changes start and how quickly they develop. Starting puberty earlier than your peers can feel isolating and confusing, but it's a more common experience than you might think.

The Real-Life Impact of Early Puberty

Experiencing puberty earlier than your friends can affect you in various ways. Physically, you might grow faster, develop body hair, or experience changes in body odour before anyone else your age does. Girls might start their periods or develop breasts earlier, while boys might notice their voices deepening and muscles growing sooner than expected. These changes can draw attention and might make you feel exposed or different at a time when fitting in feels crucial.

Emotionally, early puberty might also make you feel out of sync with your friends. As your body changes, so can your emotions, leading to feelings of increased sensitivity or mood swings. Balancing these can be tough, especially when your friends might not understand what you're going through.

Strategies to Handle Early Puberty

What if you start puberty earlier than your friends?

1. Educate Yourself

Knowledge is power. Understanding the changes happening to your body can make them less daunting. Use reliable sources to learn about puberty and it's effects. Websites like the NHS or dedicated children's health channels are great places to start. This not only helps you understand your own body better but also equips you to explain things to your friends if and when you feel comfortable doing so.

2. Open Up to Someone You Trust

Talking about your experiences can alleviate feelings of isolation or embarrassment. This could be a parent, an older sibling, or even a school counsellor; anyone who is supportive and understanding. They might not only provide emotional support but also practical advice from their own experiences.

3. Maintain Your Social Connections

Being physically ahead of your friends doesn't have to put you at a social disadvantage. Continue to invest time and energy in your friendships. Share common interests like video games, sports, movies, or books. These shared activities can help bridge any emotional gap that might have appeared due to your early development.

4. Develop Coping Strategies

Mood swings and emotional changes are part of puberty, so having strategies to manage them can be beneficial. Techniques such as deep breathing, engaging in physical activity, or pursuing a hobby can help manage stress and maintain emotional equilibrium.

5. Focus on Your Self-Esteem

It can be easy to feel self-conscious when you're developing differently from your peers. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, be it a sport, an art, or community service. Achieving small goals can boost your confidence and help you see your self-worth beyond physical appearances.

6. Handle Bullying Gracefully

If you face teasing or bullying due to early puberty, it's important to handle it constructively. Avoid responding with anger and instead, talk to a teacher or guardian about the issue. Schools have anti-bullying policies that can offer support and mediation.

Looking Ahead

Remember, puberty is just a part of growing up, and everyone goes through it at their own pace. Though it might seem overwhelming now, it won't dictate your whole life's path. People catch up with one another in different aspects of development as time goes by.

Early puberty might give you a head start on some changes, but it also offers an opportunity to develop maturity and understanding early on. Embrace the journey and know that regardless of when it happens, puberty is a universal experience, unique to each individual's timing and pace.

How are you feeling?

It is really important that when we need help, we feel able to ask for it. This could be speaking to a parent, a close friend, a teacher or someone else you trust. Sometimes it can be really hard to share our feelings with other people but if we are feeling low or don't know where to turn, sharing with others is really important. Teachers will always take you seriously and listen to your problems in confidence if you approach them for help. Likewise, parents, siblings or friends will help you if you reach out to them.

If you feel like you can't speak to anyone you know, there are people and organisations that can help support you:

  • Childline - Call them on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • NSPCC - Call them on 0808 800 5000 between 10am and 4pm Monday to Friday or email them on help@NSPCC.org.uk
  • The Samaritans – Call them on 116 123 any time of the day or night, every day of the week
  • SANE – Call 0300 304 7000 for support (4:30pm - 10:30pm every day)
  • Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 (9:00am - 6:00pm Monday to Friday)

*Sometimes we will use real life examples in our articles to aid understanding. When we do, names and ages will be changed.